extra mile

I have been meditating on this for a few days now...

Matthew 5 v 40 - 42 
If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

So when the opportunity arose for a 'kindness experiment', I recognised it gladly.

Our UNISA practical group of 15 Social Work students were told we'd have no venue for our workshops during July due to scheduled renovations at UNISA's campus. When our supervisor asked us if any of us had access to a suitable venue I suddenly thought of our church, which is not used most weekdays. After discussing it with my hub, and the shepherd of our church, I contacted our UNISA supervisor and offered our church as a venue. She accepted, very relieved. I explained to her that our church would not charge, and that we were happy to support something as valuable for the community as the readying of social workers. She was surprised and insisted that she would try to get UNISA to pay us something. I smiled at her discomfort at receiving something for free: the experiment had begun.

Our church venue is humble - a simple shop that has a carpet, 70 chairs, a couple of loos, and a small kitchen area where we plug in our urn and store our tea cups.
You can't have church without tea.

We've beautified the church walls with photos of our church family, and various scriptures that hold a lot of meaning for us as a church. So inviting our study group and supervisor into that space was like inviting people I hardly know into my own house. I was asked questions about what its like to be a pastor's wife, what the name of our church means, what kind of worship we have and various other interesting conversations that I might never have had otherwise. What gave me great joy was to have Muslims, Agnostics, at least 1 Jew and Christians of all flavours, feeling comfortable in that space for 6 days of workshops.

Up until that point, the kindness hadn't cost me anything. It was "the church's" kindness.
I wanted to be part of the kindness so I decided to buy tea, coffee, sugar, milk, soap for the bathroom basins, loo rolls, air freshener and clean towels in the bathrooms - enough for 16 people for 3 days, and for 30 people for the other 3 days when our study group doubled.

Everyday, I turned on the urn to boil the water, and laid out the cups. On the first day, the group was not sure if it was okay to help themselves to tea and coffee. I assured them they were welcome to it, and they helped themselves. I was touched to see the group tidied up beautifully after themselves - washing their cups and packing away afterwards. I noticed that the supervisor had brought a bag of loo rolls in her basket on day 1, but she decided to take them back home with her.
The supervisor asked me if I was sure I wanted to make tea freely available, and that I should be careful that people don't take advantage of it. How many times has that same voice in my head kept me from showing random kindness?

On day 2, one fellow student who is a leader in his church in Saldanha, asked who was paying for the tea and coffee, and asked if he could contribute towards the expense. I said he was welcome to contribute, and left it at that. The next day he slipped R20 into my pocket.
On day 3, a student who is very involved in her church in Khayeliltsha, expressed annoyance at how everyone (ironically, including herself) was helping themselves to church supplies. I told her that our church was happy to provide a welcoming venue including tea and coffee, and that the church was not being taken advantage of. She seemed quite annoyed that I hadn't shared in her annoyance. She muttered something about "people think everything at church is for free".

On days 4, 5 and 6, our group doubled in size from 16 to 30 students in the workshops. The new students just fell in with what had already become the norm, of everyone helping themselves to tea and coffee at tea time. It was nice to see the students offering to make teas and coffees for their small groups, rather than each person just taking care of themselves. 1 Muslim student consistently brought her own little tupperware of tea and powdered milk everyday, making use only of our hot water.
On day 4, the whole big 2.5kg packet of sugar came to an end. I hadn't noticed (as I don't use sugar) until one of the students casually asked me where he could find some more sugar. I was surprised by my own curt reply: "In Pick n Pay".
He was a bit taken aback.

Clearly I was not finding being kind that easy.
Until this point I had been volunteering kindness. But now we'd reached a point in the experiment where I could put into practise, "If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles".
My first flourish of generosity now needed following through, and I was feeling the pinch of the cost.
It took me a few private moments in the loo listening to Holy Spirit, to gather myself and decide that I was still game to continue with the kindness experiment, and during the next break while everyone was outside enjoying the winter sunshine I popped over the road to Pick n Pay and topped up all the kitchen and bathroom supplies. I was surprised how happy it made me feel.

On Day 6, one of the students suggested that everyone give a contribution towards all the church's tea and coffee, and a cup was passed around. R144 in coins came back to me. I loved that this had been spontaneously given. Could this mean that generosity begets generosity?

Reflecting on the experiment I wondered if I'd have felt so positive if the class had not made a contribution towards the costs.
I think, well, I hope I would have been.
Being kind felt really powerful - there is no argument against it.
I'm not talking about lording it over people who feel indebted to you - that is far from kindness. I tried by all means to prevent any feeling of indebtedness by keeping the costs anonymous, and by hiding my generosity under the skirts of the church.
It just felt really wonderful to have something to share that was of use.
Perhaps this is what God is telling us in His sermon on the mount: that giving actually is better than receiving. Being generous is a joy in itself, whether it provokes generosity in someone else or not.